But! That dream sparked a deep remembrance in my soul. The answer to the ever elusive question of, “who am I.” felt like it had been answered within a single word that still lingered in the fog that hangs over you after waking from a dream. “Reiki” bounced around in my mind with a wild curiosity, mostly because I had never heard of it. Not consciously, anyway. I spent that morning with my nose in the books, aka google searches, researching anything and everything about reiki. Without hesitation I called the first local practitioner whose vibe seemed to match mine, and she by chance was holding an attunement class two short weeks later. I, simultaneously, was flooded with relief and panic. I thought maybe, just maybe… this could be a practice that would help my grandma find more comfort as she began her transition into her life beyond this earthly realm. I was her hospice aid and recently, things had taken a sharp left turn. Every day, my 97 year old, strong as an ox grandmother, would desperately look to me and would ask, “Why can’t I just die already, Shelby?” Her arctic blue eyes, a mirror of my own, told a story of a lifetime of love. She was tired now, though. It nearly broke me to answer her back, “God just knows I need you a little bit longer.” and so, when reiki came along my path, the panic rose when I realized this too, meant her time was drawing nearer.

I loved getting the opportunity to be close to my grandma in the way reiki offered to me. She was never a lovey dovey kind of woman. But, in her transition, she became soft. I would place my hands on her now small, fragile body and feel the wounds within our own relationship, and our lineages, healing as the life force energy danced between us. Peace was brought forward in these moments, and so when my grandma asked me if I wanted to lay down with her for a bit, one night, I did. I cried silently next to her, rubbing a hand on her back. I thought to myself, “holy shit, this human life we are offered, is the most beautifully painful thing.” As if she was reading my thoughts, my grandma shifted toward me and changed the wording of her most usual request. Instead of just asking me why she couldn’t die, she said, “Shelby, please don’t be sad, but can you please let me go? Let me die Shelby, please.” In that moment, I realized that now it was only the power of my own grief that was holding her here. “You can go grandma, you can go back to our one true home in heaven.” I tucked a loose hair behind her ear, noticing I am still not used to seeing her without her glasses on. I continued, “I can feel your dad, your mom, your son, grandparents, all waiting for you right on the other side. It’s their turn to be with you now. You can go. I love you now, and I’ll love you the same when I get to be your age.” A soft smile rested on her face, “You’re a good girl, Shelby, I love you, too, and thank you.” Soon after, she fell asleep, until she peacefully passed hours later in the very home she grew up in, on a beautiful Easter Sunday.

I was blessed in every single way possible to be a part of her life and journey into the next. It was a volatile event that sent me hurling into unforeseen territory. It changed the entire course of my life. I abandoned my newly earned title of “certified medical assistant” and downgraded to “student”, before even working one day on the job. My experience with grandma Betty reminded me of the power of touch and medical assisting and westernized medicine just no longer clicked, but reiki was just the beginning. I worked hard that next year to become a licensed massage therapist— and here I am, today…

Using the power of touch to remind YOU of your body’s ability to heal itself. Grandma Betty may not have lived forever, but the process of reiki was healing to her body, mind, and spirit. For treating the body, is really about treating the mind. I now have stretched my knowledge far and wide to build a more wholehearted practice that gives my clients a holistically centered approach to wellness. By understanding subtle energy systems, and combining that with the tools and insights of western medicine, I am able to craft sessions that dig deep to the root cause of dysfunction to all the layers of being. We are not human beings have a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience. That paradox can challenge us when we don’t know how to balance these forces. The offerings I bring forward are meant to help remind you of this balance. A tree with strong roots, laughs at all storms, yeah? So! whether you are looking to heal the body through massage, work on trauma within somatic experiencing sessions, or to calm the spirit with energy work… I am here for you, my friend.

The fruits that Homegrown Healing has to offer, have been loved and labored for 70 years. This legacy of “love thy neighbor” that guides my work is a continuation of the service of God that my great grandfather exemplified to Grandma Betty, who then instilled it into me. The farm has been “The Church of Joes”, where my grandfather guided other men to opening their minds and hearts through his giving nature. To “The Countryside Manor” where my grandmother operated a personal care home out of the farmhouse she grew up in. To my childhood home. To now— the grounds in which my soul has been rooted in, rising to become a rebirthed version of “home”. So my friend, I welcome you to Homegrown Healing… your home away from home. See you real soon. Take good care, and thank you for stopping by.

~ Shelb

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