Can’t Fight the Feeling

fight, flight, or feel…

Dearest Friend ~

You cannot heal, what you cannot feel.

Now read that again. You cannot heal, what you cannot feel.

So… the question that begs to be answered is, have you really been allowing yourself to feel?

As a massage therapist, it never ceases to amaze me how tolerant we become of pain. So many of my clients have found ways to block out chronic pain. Which I suppose is a useful thing that we humans can do; it is a mechanism that sustains our survival. But what about our ability to live? Factor in emotional, spiritual, and mental pain and this strain on our nervous system quantifies. Yet, we somehow shove the feelings to the side all so that we can just… exist, never-mind live.

As a result, coping mechanisms are formed and we find, usually unhealthy, ways to numb out the pain.

It makes me think of a time when I was younger and in a talk therapy session. The therapist was guiding me to “track sensations” within a form of an EMDR therapy. She would ask me to talk about a traumatic experience, and throughout the story, she would cue me to tap into where I was feeling the emotions attached to the experiences in my body. Like maybe feeling shame as a punch in the gut.

The only problem was, I wasn’t feeling… anything? I couldn’t relate my emotional or mental or spiritual body, to my physical body. Later on in life, I read about alexithymia and wondered if that was a part of my original difficulties. Alexithymia is the inability to recognize or describe one’s feelings. That divergence, on top of mastering the art of dissociation, created a lot of work for me, toward building the safety that I needed to feel.

Because here’s the thing… you cannot heal, what you cannot feel. But you cannot feel, without safety.

This full circle moment is what is shaping a large part of the intention of my work!

I have discovered that massage therapy can offer several potential benefits for individuals experiencing dissociation and alexithymia, (although it's important to note that it is not a standalone treatment for these conditions… instead, massage can be a complementary therapy when used in conjunction with other therapeutic approaches, such as psychotherapy or counseling.) BUT! Here's how massage may help:

1. Relaxation:

   - Massage can promote relaxation by reducing muscle tension and lowering stress levels. This relaxation response can be particularly beneficial for individuals who are hoping to cultivate more safety from within. Learning how to relax… is a skill. I gently guide clients to a place where they don’t need to be on guard or rigid. This may take 1 session, or 100, but each person is encouraged to a place of safety with each moment.

2. Grounding:

   - Some massage techniques, such as deep pressure or gentle rocking motions, can help individuals feel more connected to their bodies. This can be especially useful for individuals who experience derealization (feeling disconnected from their environment) or depersonalization (feeling detached from themselves). I love using shiatsu techniques to connect the energetic body, back to the physical body. This is a deeply grounding practice that goes just as well with reiki and reflexology.

3. Body Awareness:

   - Massage therapy can enhance body awareness. By focusing on physical sensations and the body's responses to touch, individuals may become more attuned to their bodily sensations, which can help with alexithymia, as it encourages reconnecting with physical and emotional experiences.

4. Stress Reduction:

   - Chronic stress can exacerbate symptoms of both dissociation and alexithymia. Massage can help reduce stress hormones like cortisol and promote a sense of well-being, potentially mitigating the impact of stress on these conditions.

5. Emotional Release:

   - In some cases, receiving touch through massage can facilitate emotional release. For individuals who have difficulty expressing emotions, this can be a non-verbal way to process and release pent-up emotions. Using my background in somatics, in a consensual, planned session, my client and I could choose to play into this even more using kinesthetic cues and other more specific techniques. Adding reiki to a session could also have this affect if you are searching for a deeper release.

6. Enhanced Mind-Body Connection:

   - Massage may foster a stronger mind-body connection by encouraging individuals to be present in their bodies and to focus on physical sensations. This can be beneficial for those working to bridge the gap between emotions and bodily experiences.

It's crucial to consult with a qualified massage therapist who understands the specific needs and sensitivities of individuals dealing with dissociation and alexithymia. Additionally, massage therapy should be integrated into a comprehensive treatment plan that includes mental health support, such as therapy or counseling, to address the underlying issues effectively. Always discuss your goals and concerns with both your mental health professional and massage therapist to ensure a coordinated and safe approach to your well-being.

Let’s get back in touch with feeling, friends! Thank you for reading.

Be well,

Shelb